The Best Advice Comes From Within

Posted by Debbie Dickerson in Advice, Spirit

The smartest, happiest, and most successful people in life will listen to people when they are willing to take the time to teach you something. We learn so much from simply observing others. No matter what the subject is, you are probably standing 3 feet away from somebody that has either experienced it or knows somebody that has experienced it…which as you know makes them an expert on the topic! Many people have absolutely amazing advice however, there is not a person on this planet that can give you better advice than yourself.

I Coach people personally and professionally, I am an all-around life enhancer. Many of my clients believed that a Coach would basically be like a puppet master and take their scrambled lives and without their effort, place it nicely back together! In fact, I am sure that a few potential clients turned away when I told them that I am here to guide them so that they are the ones confident enough to make their own decisions. Under no circumstance would I tell my clients or anybody what to do. People can only give the best advice that worked for them but ultimately, your best advice will come from within yourself! A coach of mine told me when I was starting out that Coaches are people’s GPS. You are there to guide them but not drive the car!

Right now is the holiday season which means many people are going to be with family. Family…bless their hearts! Get ready for people that barely know you to tell you what you MUST do in order to be doing it right! There will always be an uncle or cousin that know more than you about what is best for you…because they know somebody from somewhere that has had a cousin that had a friend who was going through the same situation as you :)! They will have relationship advice for you, if you are single, I am sure they know three nice people to set you up with. If you are married, they will tell you how to be married correctly. Wherever you are in your career, they are or know somebody higher than you and will have advice to tell you so you can be successful. Listen to them all. At worst, you get a great laugh out of it, at best you take in some great advice. Just keep in mind that there is no best advice unless it comes from yourself.

Almost two years ago, I left a career that was profitable but no longer fulfilling for me. I have always been a coach to many but decided that I was going to start my own business. My company had two sides to it, one was head hunting and the other is Coaching. If I would have asked people’s advice about leaving my job to create this uncertain income career, most would have said not to. I completely understand why they would have advised that way, but that wasn’t my best advice. My best advice was the confidence bubbling inside of me yelling, “Woman, you are bad to the bone and have the power to make or break your dreams! Like everything else, you got this too!” I was right. It hasn’t been easy street, but I am still here! My business has steadily grown and will continue to do so. If I didn’t listen to myself, I would still be in a job that was safe but not fulfilling.

Some of my client’s struggle with pulling the trigger on a decision because being held completely accountable scares the heck out of them. I give my client’s an exercise to do that helps with this process of decision making. So far I have seen drastic improvements on 100% of them that were proactive in their sessions. Below is the advice I give. (Obviously I love to write, so a lot of my activities include writing. If you are hellbent against writing, you can speak into a mirror.)

1. Write down your dilemma – Be very specific on what the exact dilemma is that you are looking for advice on.

2. When you think about the outcome of this dilemma, what are your emotions that are attached to it. If you go one way, how does that make you feel? If you choose another way, how does that make you feel. When I say feel, I mean pay close attention to how your heart and stomach react.

3. Write out your “whys.” Why is this important to you? Why do you desire or not desire this particular dilemma?

4. What are the possible results?

5. What is holding you back from making a firm decision?

6. What do YOU want to do? Does this make you happy? Is it positive for you and all connected to it?

7. What is your decision?

If you struggle with trusting yourself, do the process step by step. Listen to your body, it will always be your best adviser…always! Everybody that has followed these 7 steps has been able to build trust and confidence in themselves and felt much more secure with their own decisions. Of course, there is plenty more that goes into it, but if you are unable to have a Coach, these steps will be a great start for you!

This is your life to live the exact way that you want to. Nobody makes all the right decisions all the time, that is called being human! Many people have superb advice and you are a fool not to listen to it. Their advice, as good as it is will never be the best advice for you. The best advice will come from within, every single time. It may be a compilation of everybody’s advice along the way, but ultimately, it has to be your own! You know yourself better than anybody else on this planet, stop doubting yourself and trust your gut! Just like me, you got this!