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Healing is not a prescription. It is not sterile, sanitized, or linear. It is wild, orgasmic, raw, bloody, cyclical, sensual, erotic, inconvenient, and often messy as hell. True healing demands radical self-honesty, sacred embodiment, and a willingness to burn everything false to the fucking ground.

So let’s do that.

Let’s torch these top 20 outdated, disempowering beliefs about healing that are holding you hostage in your own body, mind, and spirit. These are the chains we’ve been taught to call jewelry. Ready? Grab your matchstick.

1. Healing Means “Getting Back to Normal”

No, it doesn’t. Healing means obliterating “normal.” If your normal made you sick, small, or silenced, why the hell would you return to it? Healing is not returning. It’s reclaiming. Reinventing. Resurrecting. Becoming.

2. Time Heals All Wounds

Time is not a healer. Conscious presence is. Time alone doesn’t heal anything, it just hides it under decades of coping mechanisms and polite dysfunction. It’s the work done in that time that heals.

3. Healing Has to Be Private

You’ve been taught to bleed in silence. DON’T!! Your story, your scars, your process, they are sacred. Share them. Speak them. Strip naked and scream them into the wind if you must. Healing in community is holy.

4. Doctors and Therapists Know What’s Best For You

Professionals can help, but you are the authority on your body, your trauma, your truth. Stop outsourcing your intuition to people in lab coats and clipboards.

5. If You’re Not Better Yet, You’re Doing It Wrong

Healing is not a performance. There’s no medal ceremony. You don’t get graded. It’s not a race, it’s a revolution. Take your time. Take up space. Bleed beautifully.

6. You Have to Forgive to Heal

This is spiritual gaslighting dressed as virtue. Forgiveness is a choice, not a prerequisite. You don’t owe peace to your perpetrators. You owe truth to yourself.

7. Healing Is About Becoming Pure

Nope. Healing isn’t about purity; it’s about integration. Your shadow belongs. Your darkness is divine. You are not here to become clean. You are here to become whole.

8. Sex and Pleasure Are Separate from Healing

This belief is a direct attack on your power. Pleasure is medicine. Erotic energy is the original source code of creation. Your orgasms are sacred. Your body is an altar.

9. Healing Is a Solo Journey

It doesn’t have to be. Connection heals. Safe touch heals. Deep trust heals. Let yourself be seen, held, wrecked, and rebuilt in the arms of those who can meet you there.

10. You Have to Be Calm and Positive All the Time

That’s not healing; that’s emotional suppression. Rage is medicine. Grief is holy. Despair is sacred. Stop shaming your feelings. They are not obstacles; they are oracles.

11. Only the Mind Needs Healing

We’ve been trained to intellectualize healing. But trauma lives in the body. The body keeps the score, and it also holds the key. Somatic, sensual, primal healing is not optional. It’s essential.

12. Healing Is About Fixing What’s Broken

You are not broken. You never were. You were wounded, abandoned, betrayed. That doesn’t make you defective—it makes you divine. Healing is about remembrance, not repair.

13. You Have to Be Healed Before You Can Help Others

Wrong!! We are wounded healers; midwives of each other’s rebirth. Your scars don’t disqualify you; they consecrate you.

14. Healing Is Linear

You’ll go backward. You’ll spiral. You’ll think you’re healed, then fall apart again. That’s not failure, it’s depth. Healing is seasonal, cyclical, and sacred.

15. Crystals, Herbs, and Energy Work Alone Will Heal You

Tools are beautiful, but don’t confuse the ritual with the real work. Healing takes truth-telling, nervous system regulation, inner excavation, and erotic reclamation.

16. Talking About Trauma Is Re-Traumatizing

It’s not talking that retraumatizes; it’s being unheard, dismissed, or shamed. Telling your truth in a safe, witnessed space is liberation. Your voice is your sword.

17. You Must Be Independent and Do It All Yourself

Hyper-independence is a trauma response. Healing invites softness, vulnerability, and interdependence. Let someone help you. Let love in. Let yourself lean.

18. Healing Is About Always Feeling Better

Sometimes healing feels like dying. And it is. The false self must die for the real you to rise. It’s okay to feel like you’re being gutted. You are.

19. You Can Think Your Way Out of Pain

Healing doesn’t happen in the head. It happens in the gut, the womb, the breath, the howl, the hips. Stop overthinking and start undressing your truth.

20. Healing Ends

It doesn’t. It deepens. You’ll never “arrive” because you’re not a product, you’re a process. Let the unraveling be your religion. Let the becoming be your bliss.

Final Thoughts
Healing is not a lifestyle trend. It is not something you do to become more palatable to your therapist, your mother, your Instagram following, or the spiritually bypassing New Age echo chamber.

Healing is revolution. It is rebellion against every system, belief, and identity that ever taught you to shrink, to smile through the pain, to tighten your thighs, to shut your mouth, and to bury your truth under politeness and pathology.

This is a full-bodied remembrance of your original design: wild, sovereign, orgasmic, blood-born, pleasure-rooted, feral and free.

You cannot think your way into this.

You must undress.
You must unravel.
You must die to what was never yours.

And you must understand this:

Unlearning these twenty beliefs is not optional. It is not motivational fluff. It is spiritual CPR.
Because the world will keep feeding you poison and calling it medicine until you spit it out and start birthing your own truth from your gut, your cunt, and your goddamn bones.

I am healing every day; naked, opened by the sacred obsidian, sobbing into the Earth, resurrecting through my release, listening to the prophecies that come from deep within me.
And I am still holy.

Let the world call it madness.
I call it freedom.
And if you are brave enough, you’ll call it home.

Written with truth, fire, and sacred reverence,
Susie Spades, PhD